About work, life, love & being human.
I recently received this email from a reader:
I hate my day job, but can't quit as I have no savings and lots of bills to pay. There's also the small fact that I don't really know what I want to do my life. Of course, I have things I think I'd love to do, but they make me no money. Any tips?
This is a feeling I call the space. It's the space between where you are and where you want to be. Here are 10 reminders for anyone who feels like they're there right now. In work, in love, in life or otherwise:
1. When you feel like you're not "achieving" anything, remember this: you're not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago or even a week ago. Your experiences mean you're always growing. You're achieving just by living (because this being human stuff is hard).
2. Even if you have the perfect job, with the perfect schedule, and the perfect partner, you will still have shitty days. You will still question things. You'll still wonder, from time to time, what the point of all this is. Sometimes the light in your eyes will go out. Keep going until it comes back on.
3. Life often goes from amazing to awful and there's nothing any of us can do about it. It's up, it's down. It's bad, it's good. Magical then mundane. Celebrate the awesome moments, accept the mediocre ones and reflect on the terrible. There's a lesson to be found in even the deepest of downfalls.
4. Until the exciting stuff happens, get enthusiastic about the not-so-exciting stuff. The not-so-exciting stuff leads to exciting stuff, eventually. Just ask anyone you admire.
5. It's possible to make a living without killing your soul in the process. How? Well, you create. You have side projects. You design your life a little more each week. Shift the focus from fighting against your life, to creating and embracing it.
6. If money is stopping you from taking a leap of faith or working less hours, explore that feeling. With time, you can lessen your relationship with money like any other dependency: by slowly changing the way you view it. You don't need a huge amount to survive, so if you're serious about taking a step forward, assess your necessities. You may have to pay your rent, but you don't need to go the fanciest restaurants. When you start enjoying your life more, you'll find you need those distractions less.
7. You always have choices. You don't have to go that birthday party out of obligation, but you do owe it to yourself to do more of what you love for the hell of it. Yes, for the hell of it.
"When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety. But if I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, and without pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and is attracting me."
There is a secret in this Rumi quote for anyone who can grasp it.
9. Don't feel like you have to chase the things that we're brainwashed into thinking mean "success". Chase your curiosity, instead. Chase your goals by starting small, but always thinking big. You don't have to prove anything to anyone except yourself.
10. Maybe you think an "interesting" or "well-lived" life means lots of travelling, Instagram-worthy experiences and, one day, a big house in the suburbs. But have you ever thought that the key to a fulfilling life is, actually, one in which you slowly learn to love yourself?